We Help Most by Who We Are

Often when we are trying to do a kindness for someone it backfires because there is too much of ego in it—too much of self. Trying to be so helpful, we end up blowing it. Many psychotherapy clients have complained to me over the years about the many people who seek to be “helpful” by dispensing off the cuff advice, but doing so without really taking the time to listen and understand the situation fully. Such advice is full of ego—full of the belief that somehow we know more. Often I have found that I am the most help, both to my clients and friends and family, when I simply try to be present and understand. One time a friend and I were having dinner. He told me about a certain television

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